Kid wants a doughnut that isn't his, entitled parents won't tell him no: 'I refused a doughnut to a kid and then called his mom out'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Apr 10, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

You know… kids are dumb; it's really an undeniable and certifiable fact. In fact, it's not even a programming error rather it's actually one of the features of being a kid; you don't have to know everything or be responsible and can romp around; it's up to your parents, other guardians, or mining foreman to manage that for you and teach it to you in constructive ways. 

"You can't always get what you want" is one of those first lessons that you're taught in life and has been an essential part of our educational foundation ever since philosopher Sir Michael Philip Jagger invented the concept with the help of a bunch of rocks back in the 60s. This concept, of course, goes doubly if the thing is someone else's—this all harking back to lessons learned on the playground. Timmy has a red ball; you want to play with that red ball, but that red ball is Timmy's, and he decides whether or not you get to play with it. Sure, it would be nice for Timmy to share his ball if he's able, but it's really up to him. It's up to your parents to make sure that you understand this and enforce the lesson when you fail. Of course, if your parents never learned the lesson they're going to be hard-pressed to teach it to you, which is how we end up with generations of self-perpetuated entitlement.

These parents refused to tell their kid no when he got his sticky fingers on a doughnut that wasn't his... Leading to a confrontation between friends that didn't really need to happen and some unanswered questions that this poster sought to answer online.

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  • 01
    "AITA for refusing to give a donut to a kid at a party?"
    via Nik
  • 02
    We got to the party and set the donuts down. Immediately this kid and his mom decided to come on over because in her words "these are the best donuts in town! Wow! Thank you for bringing them!" I open up the boxes and immediately the kid throws his hands on the GF one. I kindly said "Oh sorry I am saving that one for my husband he can't have gluten". I picked the donut out and set it aside and proceed to tell him all the other wonderful flavours that I got! Cookies and cream, Nutella, it was don
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 03
    galore. The kid? Immediately starts crying because he wanted the one I took away and his mom proceeded to begin tearing at me and yelling at me for not just giving him the donut. "He is just a kid!" I was stunned and I immediately just left the situation, went outside with my husbands donut gave it to him. I was mortified. I thought she would calm down but NOO!
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 04
    This lady proceeds to go outside and a make a scene about it. A big argument ensued about how I refused her kid a donut. It was comical at this point. I calmly stated my point again, that this donut was for my husband who is GF and I know no one there has an issue with gluten so her child could have one of the others.
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 05
    This lady wouldn't let it go so here is where I might be the AH. At this point I am sick of her entitlement so I told her just that. She is an entitled little brat and now I know where her kid gets it from. She starts crying, making a scene and leaves the party. The host and everyone there is just mortified and then tell me I should have just handed the kid the donut. My husband sticks up for me, and we decided to leave early.
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 06
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the aOhole: I refused a donut to a kid and then called his mom out on her behaviour. I might be an AH because b was just a kid
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 07
    Notyouraveragejew1 • 5h ago NTA. I think you handled the situation as best as you could. Kids take after their parents and it sounds like they're an entitled family. Their lack of empathy is pathetic and honestly it's sad that she's being such a bad role model for her kid. Maybe she was going through something but no adult with decent manners and respect for others would give that much of about a donut. Discipline your kid a and move on. Maybe the ONLY thing to do differently would've been to ju
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 08
    A almalauha 5h ago . Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] ΝΤΑ You did the right thing. That woman needs to learn to put her foot down to her child. Her kid acted massively entitled and just obnoxious, and so did she for 'fighting this battle' for him. Everyone is going to have to learn to accept 'no' at some point in their life. I guess mum never learned this lesson and she's refusing to teach it to her kid. Good on you for standing up for your partner's medical/dietary need/choice.
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 09
    I am vegan. If I bring several treat items to a party and not all of it is vegan, of course I'd set the vegan stuff aside to ensure there will be something for me to eat. Years ago, when I was vegetarian, a coworker was so kind to cook a warm lunch for our department. She knew me and one or two others were vegetarian so she'd made a smaller batch of vegetarian variety to the meat meal she prepared. I was so appalled when one of our senior staff started digging into the vegetarian pan
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 10
    when he is not vegetarian and could see that there was a lot less vegetarian food than meat-containing food. Like, dude, this food isn't for you. Let the vegetarians get their fill and even if there's anything left. after all vegetarians have had enough, should you be helping yourself to the vegetarian food (or you should have told the cook beforehand you wanted vegetarian food, so she could have made more). Some people just don't get it. This is
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 11
    why at the conferences I've been to, they keep the vegan meals aside/at the back so that others don't decide "oh, this looks good, I'll take it" or "sure, I'll try vegan food for a change". If they don't keep the food at the back/separate, the "special" food would end up being gone before the intended people have had a chance. 565 Reply ↑ Share
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  • 12
    Kessed 4h ago NTA. (If this is true) If your husband can't have gluten, why was his donut mixed in with the rest? (You said you had to pick it out) That's a cross contamination nightmare. His donut should have been separately packaged. This sounds more like a “entitled kid with parent" made up story. ↑ 306 ⇓ Reply ↑ Share
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 13
    fallingintopolkadots Supreme Court Just- NTA. • 5h ago [104] that sounded exhausting. The mom could have easily said, "Oh, honey, that is made special for people with a gluten allergy. It won't taste like the donuts you love from shop. Oh, look! Here's one of the flavor you always LOVE! Let's say thank you and go eat it over here." But nooooooo, the kid and then the mom had to immediately throw a fit, making a minor thing into a giant thing. Everyone there must have been bored with nothing else
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 14
    • StAlvis 4h ago Galasstic Overlord [1684] NTA "He is just a kid!" So 175 what? Reply ↑ Share
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  • 15
    • RiverAcceptable9671 5h ago NTA. Immature behavior on the mom's part for not reeling in her behavior for herself and her child. She made a scene when there were literally a bunch of other donuts available, the kid probably just was along for that ride at that point. Bad parenting, bet that kid is coddled on the word no. Him being "just a kid" has nothing to do with it. Reply ↑ Share 121
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  • 16
    Bloody_Red_ • 5h ago NTA. Get new friends. 99 ⇓ Reply ↑ Share
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  • 17
    ParsimoniousSalad His Holiness the • 4h ago [1105] NTA. Don't know what was up with the folks at that party. They had an entire box of donuts to choose from. They didn't need your husband's GF donut just because they felt entitled to it (from the donuts YOU brought). EDIT: and I hope when you left early you took the box of donuts with you, (evil smile) 92 Reply ↑ Share
    via Traditional_Apple256
  • 18
    I can't believe I am posting this but here we are. I have a mix group of friends and some are saying I was wrong so I decided to let Reddit decide. My husband and I were invited to a birthday party. We asked if we could bring anything and the host said not needed but we could if we wanted to. Since I don't like showing up empty handed anywhere I thought it would be nice to purchase some boutique donuts from an artisanal donut shop near us. We got a bunch of donuts and one GF donut for my husband
    via Traditional_Apple256

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